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April 14 YUCKA DUCKA DEWbeen busy. been broke. there's something wrong with this picture.
yeah, so the wonder drug isn't working out as great as i'd hoped. actually, i suspected this would happen...after a couple of weeks, it's like my body just adjusts and assimilates the new meds and they stop working as good. truly, it's like i'm a fucking borg or something. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! on a more positive note, tomorrow i get to go to double doses so maybe that will kick the shit out my stubborn gray cells who try to defeat me at every turn. for a week or so, until the collective takes control again. damn borgs!
i'll probably end up in a mental institution someday where i will really think i am a borg. which wouldn't be so bad if i looked like seven of nine. who ever heard of a fat borg?!
work has been good. just finished my work assessment with my HOH consumer. she did great and is ready for job development, although i'm not. my felon somehow escaped jail time for his mischievous stunts the previous weekend and is still free, so I got him extra work time at a factory. maybe they'll hire him. i gave him strict instructions today to NOT mention felonies, prison, what he did in prison, what was done TO him in prison and what hijinks he's been up to since prison while he's working. i also warned him i would be stopping in to check on him and he better be working and not talking! actually, once you get past the part where his mind is messed up from spending almost 20 years in prison and how he can't adjust to life on the "outside", he's not really a bad guy. i kind of feel sorry for him. in fact, i wrote him a letter of reference to use at his latest court hearing. he's kind of pitiful, really. he doesn't understand why I or anyone else would want to help him after the "stuff" he's done. I tried to explain the circle of life idea to him...don't know if he got it or not. (course, i might not sounded as convincing as i meant to..but i did try).
Next week, i get to work in a kennel (or to be more precise, play with the puppies while my consumer works). gotta love that...although i ain't too crazy about getting up at the crack of dawn to drive there every day. it's all good though, i get paid for that long ass drive (and trust me, it WILL be long). the kennel lady says they have a crematorium. why would a KENNEL have a crematorium?? i'm having no part of that, i can tell you right now. i hear the word euthanize and i'll be springing latches on cages like nobody's business. "run little doggies....run!"
odd, i think euthanizing terminally ill people is totally acceptable, if that's what they want. they're dying anyway...seems to me they should get to pick how they go. but animals? okay, i guess if they're terminally ill too, it's the same thing. no one wants to suffer, human or animal. i'm just going to assume that is the only kind of euthanizing they do there. now that i think about it, i'm sure it is.
still trying to set up a work assessment at the crime lab. my contact leads aren't panning out and i'm running out of time. also, i REALLY want to do this, since I am such a CSI fan. gotta figure out a way in there. somebody has to know somebody down there to get us in.
speaking of which, CSI last night was great. i just about shit when that rat popped out the dead guys stomach. ewwwwwwwww. the coroner screamed like a girl. giggle. giggle.
i swear, i came upstairs two hours ago to go to sleep and i've been on this computer the entire time. oh well, this catches up my blogging for awhile anyway.
PISSER OF THE DAY: i sold two bags of books (about 45 books) and they only gave me $6! I'm not doing that anymore...it's just not worth it. it's hurts to part with my beloved books and if i can't get enough to put gas in my car, it's senseless. so, i'm thinking about having a little book sale here in my apartment in a week or so...i think i might make more money that way if i can get anyone to show up. a couple of people have expressed an interest, so maybe....
okay, i'm tired enough now to sleep.
i think.
April 07 SPREADING THE LOVEI haven't posted in awhile so I thought I'd better pop on here and put something. Not much has been going on......mentally, emotionally and physically things have improved somewhat in the past week, thanks to a new, orally administered chemical I've been putting in my body. I don't want to say too much about it right now; one, because I'm afraid I'll jinx it and two - well, let's just say if it stops working after a week or so, I'll be totally bummed. TOTALLY.
Financially, things still suck really, really, really, really bad. But, thanks to the aforementioned chemical, I am not lying in a fetal position crying my eyes out. Totally broke I can handle (unwillingly, but it's not like i'm not used to it); the despair was KICKING my ass.
Work is going good...I've got enough people on my list that, if I can get them all scheduled I should be booked for the rest of this month. It'd be awesome if I can squeeze some OT in too. Right now, it looks like this month I will be working: in a factory, in an office, at a discount retailer, at a dog grooming place and in either an optical or crime lab. I'm hoping for the crime lab (how CSI is THAT???), but the optical lab is good too. I love my job. Oh, and one of my follow along (that means i check on him every week or so) people is working at a Cracker Barrel. Mmmmmmm. Cracker Barrel. It fucking sucks to be broke - I should not have to go to the Cracker Barrel and not be able to eat. Dammit.
That reminds me - one of my fav places to eat around here - a pancake house - re-opened FRIDAY!!! It's been about two years; it caught on fire and they did a complete renovation/rebuild. So, I drive by yesterday and all the parking lots are completely full and there is a LONG line out front (but it was like that before...we're talking good food, cheap). I so happy! I so pissed I'm broke!
I've been setting up my other blog as I can...still working on it, but I've been posting a little. Check it out............ http://arobinsviewfromthepenthouse.blogspot.com
No commercials - all Robin, all the time.
You'll find me there more than here, eventually.
On an ending note, it's 27 degrees outside and some dumb fuck is MOWING the grass across the street. Isn't that against some law of nature?
March 26 HAS SPRING SPRUNG...CONTINUEDHa! The last post even made me laugh. Especially the way I ended it. (Note to self: get a long power cord so I can use lap top outside without having to use the battery)
In fact, I liked it so much I'm thinking of starting a new blog on another site with more of the same kind of posts. This one has gotten pretty dreary, what with me pissing and moaning about my mental state (among other things) and the sponsored posts. So I think I may keep this one for commercials and maybe some political themed or entertainment style blogs to draw in traffic and just do regular blogging at the new site.
These are all ideas just swirling in my head at the moment. Hey, it's better than the usual shit swirling around in there!
I will post the new blog on here when I get it set up.......hopefully soon!
March 25 HAS SPRING SPRUNG?Okay, it is 6pm and I am sitting out on the balconey of the Penthouse enjoying warm, lovely weather.
Squirrels are scampering to and fro; the man next door is cutting his grass (seriously, it's March 25th and the dude is CUTTING his grass. dumbass), the lil bastards in the neighborhood are shrieking, cussing and thumping basketballs and a motorcycle roars by approximately once every 8 1/2 minutes.
Ahhhh......the sounds of spring!
Downstairs neighbor/possible serial killer has made himself scarce the whole weekend. Which is fine except for that little voice inside my head that says, "ummm, because the ground has thawed out?" Aw, who cares - as long as it's not my body he's burying, I'm content to sit here and blog.
I need some furniture out here befitting the balconey of the Penthouse. So far I only have one chair I brought with me from the Ghetto and frankly, it kills my ass and my back. I'd like a couple of comfy chairs and a little table. And some plants. Oh, and some ear plugs to drown out the sirens and the lil bastards playing basketball. I wish someone would teach them to play softball instead - mainly because I have seen no softball field near here, which means they'd have to go elsewhere to make noise.
I just noticed doofus mowing the grass is wearing headphones. Wonder what he listens to? Maybe he's learning Italian - I thought I saw his lips move. Ewww, he's a belly scratcher. Sometimes a penthouse view can backfire on ya. Good, he stopped mowing. No, wait, he's getting something off the back of his little moped thing (yeah, i know and he's like 60 or something). Crap, it's a grass blower. Sigh. Well, it IS sunday and there's a bible verse (i think) about making joyful noise unto the Lord. Of course, "joyful" is a relative term.
Either the lil bastards playing basketball have been called home to eat hamburger helper or the grass blower is drowning them out.
Bellyscratching man just made a signal to someone across the street. Could've been a wave or it could've been a signal to set off some fireworks.
Last night, I sat out here for hours, until my toes got cold. I had my ear buds in, my mp3 player tuned to a classical station (who knew??) and gazed at the stars. Surprisingly enough, despite the glare from the Waffle House, the fire station and other assorted lights, I was able to see the stars.
Fuck. Now, some other lil bastards have gotten ahold of a soccer ball. Are they playing soccer? Nope. They are playing some Moronic City game that involves bouncing the ball, throwing it at each other and shrieking. Ha, one of them just ran into a sign. SCORE!
Urban living may have it perks (not around here of course, but some urban place) but right now, the country's looking pretty good.
Nothing has bloomed, the trees are still bare - but cut my legs off and call me shorty, I believe spring is HERE!
Damn, the battery is going so I better February 03 So now what do I do....
LOOKING FOR A CLUE...
November 14 GOOD FRIENDSI have to admit I am somewhat lax about maintaining my friendships. I am not the type of person who needs to be in constant contact with someone in order to remain friends with them. I don't need daily phone calls or weekly get togethers to remind me of what I value most about my friends. I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice to do those things, I'm just saying I don't necessarily need it. Luckily for me, I have been very fortunate and extremely grateful that my true friends know and understand this about me. I'm also this way with my family, but that's another blog for another time.
 For instance, there's my best friend Janet. Janet has been with me through some pretty rough times. She has stuck by me, advised me, counseled me and when needed, tried to set me straight. Janet has never lied to me, betrayed me or forsaken me. Do we talk every day? No. Do we talk every week? No, unless a situation warrants it. Do we see each other all the time? No. But I think about Janet all the time and I know she's thinking about me. I have her back and I know she's got mine. She's funnier than hell sometimes and sassy as all get out and I get a big kick out of her. She can also be pretty damn ferocious when she wants to be or needs to be, so I try to stay out of kicking range. If I'm ever in a fight, I definitely want Janet in my corner! This past year has been not so good for me in a lot of ways and Janet, bless her heart, has given me some space and let me know in her own way, she's still there for me.
When I get really old, I want to be sitting in a rocking chair on a front porch with Janet beside me, cracking me up with her stories and insights on human nature. Now, that's a friendship!
I talked with my friend Amy tonight. Boy howdy, it sure was good to hear from her. It's been months and we had a lot to catch up on. Amy is another friend I can go months without seeing or talking to and yet, as soon as we start talking, it's like no time has passed. Amy is hilarious (as is her husband Fred) and has a similar sense of humor as I do, which is extremely important in a good friend, because if you don't get me, well, ya don't get me. Amy has been through some pretty wicked trials and tribulations in her life (and Fred too) and still she manages to keep her wits, her sense of humor and go on doing what she needs to do. I really admire her for that. I'm not so sure had I been in her place I wouldn't have layed down the sword a long time ago. Amy is STRONG, much stronger than I think she knows. If there was a nuclear blast, Amy would come striding out through the smoke (with Fred), gather her family and animals and figure out a survival plan pretty fast. Who am I kidding? Fred probably has a bunker already built under his pole barn and Amy probably already has supplies laid in. Note to self: move closer to Amy and Fred.
Several years ago, we had a girls camp out at Amy's. It was great. Amy, Janet, Leslie, Bonnie, Lisa and me. Seriously, we had a really good time. Amy has a pond behind her house and we set up camp there. We pitched tents and cooked hamburgers, etc. Fred even made us the cutest little outhouse so we wouldn't have to keep running back to the house. He carved a half moon and star in the door and Amy had a little candle burning in there (and the necessary wipes, toilet paper, etc). It was so clean and cute, I had abandoned my natural distaste of outhouses and made use of it several times. I wanted to share that with everyone. We drink lots of marqueritas and I do mean lots and smoked some weed and generally got extremely goofy. I don't think I have laughed so much since then. Leslie to this day will look at me and laugh, remembering some antic of mine. I don't know why, I thought everybody else was hilarious. I do remember running around the yard in a birthday hat - I just can't remember why. And oh man, the Mikesells potato chips were SO good that night! Unbelievably good! For a group of women ranging in age from late 30's to early 50's...I thinked we partied pretty damn good. Those red hat ladies ain't got nothing on us! We absolutely, seriously need to do it again. Although next time, we need real beds. I am too damn old to be sleeping on the ground.
I have other friends and other memories to share but it will have to be another time. Talking with Amy stirred up some thoughts and rememberances. But it's getting late and I need to try to sleep. Got a meeting in the morning with a new client and I have to act like I know what I'm doing. It's not always an easy act to pull off.  |
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